


It doesn’t get better

by lucasli



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Author Can't Tag, Boys Kissing, First Kiss, Fluff, Hugs, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Nagito doesn't really die it's just in the simulation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:42:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26285875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucasli/pseuds/lucasli
Summary: Basically the story follows Nagito through his life and how a prophetic dream always seemed to come true and haunt him.
Relationships: Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Kamukura Izuru/Komaeda Nagito
Kudos: 100





	It doesn’t get better

**Author's Note:**

> I was really inspired by this https://weheartit.com/entry/147318131 image, so I that's the origin of me writing this.   
> Once again, Nagito doesn't actually die since it's just in the simulation. At one point it's also mentioned that Chiaki dies. I'm bad at tagging so I'm just putting it here instead.

It was late at night yet Nagito couldn’t sleep. It wasn’t long since his parents had died so he was still suffering from nightmares of the crash. The screams, the blood, the fire. He felt cold just thinking about it. Most of his other family were also dead, leaving him alone in a house too big for any child. At least the people who worked at the house were still there. Nagito didn’t know what would’ve happen to him without them.

He rolled over to his side again, wishing he could just fall asleep. He had been exhausted the last few days, but just couldn’t sleep. Childish fear of nightmares and the dark kept him up, even when he knew that sleep would be his escape.

Nagito sighed, though it sounded more like a whimper, and reached for one of his stuffed toys. He had a couple of plushies, but this one was special. His father had given him it a while before the crash. If Nagito focused really hard he could still smell his father’s scent.

As he cuddled the small plush close, he felt somewhat better. A few minutes later and he was far away in dreamland.

The room around him was white. It wasn’t really a room as there were no walls or roof. In front of Nagito stood a person. The person was tall and pale, with fluffy white hair and eyes just like his. He was wearing a green jacket, a white t-shirt, and black trousers. The person looked eerily like an older version of Nagito. The man crouched down and looked at the young child. He smiled and said; “It doesn’t get any better you know.” A wave of fear and despair washed over Nagito and he began to cry. He didn’t know why, but it seemed like the right reaction. The man’s face softened, and he tilted his head.

“Your luck will come and ruin things, people will hate you and illness will soon start breaking you bit by bit”, he said, still smiling that calm, sad smile. Nagito didn’t answer. He knew not to talk to strangers even in his dreams. The strange man stood up and turned to walk away.

“But, you’ll meet someone special at least”, he said. “Someone filled with hope and a unique level of patience.” The end came out as a chuckle, as if whoever he was talking to was really precious. The scene started to fade, and his voice became distant.

“Maybe he’ll even be yours.” The dream faded into black nothingness and Nagito woke up in a sweat. He couldn’t stop thinking about that dream and what the man had said. ‘A special someone, filled with hope’, it didn’t make any sense to him. Time passed and the things the man had said seemed to become more and more true. Bad and good luck came, ruined and went throughout his life. He was diagnosed with illnesses that seemed to never kill him, barely anyone at school tolerated him, and things just went further and further downhill only to have some sort of compensation for it produced by his good luck. Nagito got used to it, learnt to live around it and even how to use it. Of course it didn’t always work, but progress is made through trial and error, right? Well, maybe not when it hurts people.

Years passed and both Nagito and his luck grew. His hair tuned white from its previous light brown and his skin became pale from sickness. No one at his school liked him as he would constantly talk lowly of himself or ramble about hope. His luck grew too, bringing bigger fortune and bigger disaster. At least he had some degree of control over it, way more than when he was a child. He could finally avoid hurting people close to him, even though it meant staying away from anyone in general.

One day a strange letter arrived at his home. It was from Hope’s peak academy. It said that he, Nagito Komaeda, had been picked as the ultimate lucky student. Nagito tried to refuse the offer, explaining how unworthy of it he was. In the end Hope’s peak won, and he reluctantly accepted his place as the ultimate lucky student.

The night before his first day there, the dream he had as a child resurfaced. He could still remember it vividly. The despair he had felt, the strange man that looked like him only a couple years from now, and the prophetic words he had spoken.

_“You’ll meet someone special, at least. Someone filled with hope and a unique level of patience. Maybe he’ll even be yours.”_ Nagito kept thinking about that part. He often did. A special person filled with hope who’d maybe be his? It sounded ridiculous. Even with his ‘ultimate luck’ Nagito was sure as hell not gonna that lucky. The thought of someone wanting to be his friend was absurd enough, but a relationship? It was laughable. With a mad smile on his lips, Nagito fell into a dreamless slumber.

His fellow classmates were strange to say the least. All so different and bright and full of hope. Nagito had never felt so small and worthless in his life before. Their teacher wasn’t much to bring home about. Sure, he was a former ultimate too, but it was definitely not in teaching high schoolers.

When they eventually got a new teacher and the class closer, things seemed to go better for Nagito. He managed to befriend two of his classmates, and Chiaki was nice to him. But nothing good lasts long with Nagito. First the whole exam ordeal, then his plane crashing (again), and as the finale of some soap drama Chiaki died and the class fell into despair.

It was all laughable.

The end of the world was at its beginning, Junko’s first killing game had started and the remnants were pretty much free to do whatever they wanted. Nagito used the time mostly wandering. Without any commands he was lost. His classmates were spread all around the world and both of his ‘leaders’ were nowhere to be seen. His bad luck must have hit him for a long run, huh? Or was this how things were when they weren’t influenced by luck?

More time passed rather uneventfully. Junko was dead and Nagito had taken her left arm as… a prize? A keepsake? Personal grudge or love? He didn’t know, and it hurt too much to think about unless directly commanded to.

Somehow he ended up in Towa city. The island was currently under the rule of The warriors of hope so of course Nagito took interest. His obsession with hope was still strong and persistent. What he hadn’t expected was to be captured by the children and ending up as their servant.

It was pretty shitty to say the least. Nagito couldn’t help but half-ass many of their commands on purpose, though not enough to harm the children or get himself killed. Nothing much happened there either until Komaru was freed and Nagito set a new plan in action. Around this time a special someone also arrived at the island. That person being Izuru Kamukura.

Nagito was overjoyed at seeing his leader and impersonation of hope approach him. It almost sent him into another despair filled episode, but he kept it (mostly) together. Izuru questioned him as to why Nagito was there and why he was calling himself a servant. After he explained, Izuru had glared at him almost angrily.

“Why is it that you serve someone other than your leader?” he asked. “Didn’t you once swear to serve beneath and only for me? Or was that a lie for one of your hope-wins-in-the-end plans?” As Izuru spoke, he produced a chain and collar out of the air and stepped closer.

“What a lousy servant you must be”, he said as he placed the collar around Nagito’s neck. It was a bit tight, and some of his white hair had gotten stuck under it. Nagito gave the other man a confused glance. Izuru sighed.

“I guess I’ll have to train you.”

The two spent three nights together. Nagito did get ‘some’ training, though it often ended with him letting Izuru do whatever he wanted with him. He didn’t complain, not too much anyways. He was happy to let Izuru, or anyone really, use him. Sometimes Izuru would be rough, and other times gentle. Nagito still remembered the first time Izuru held him in his arms. He had almost cried of joy. Another nice thing about Izuru was that he didn’t talk much. Nagito was usually forced into silence so when they were together he would ramble about anything and everything. Izuru usually let him do this.

They met once again before leaving Towa. Nagito had gotten Monaca somewhat on her feet again, and Izuru had probably finished some mission or gotten bored of the city. Bored of Nagito. Their goodbye was short. Neither of them said much even though there were thousands of things Nagito still wanted to tell him. What he got instead were two kisses and a command.

“Forget about me”, Izuru said. After a stunned silence Nagito laughed.

“How can I ever forget about you? You’re my leader and my hope. My existence is devoted only to you”, he laughed, feeling the despair crawl up his throat.

“Forget about how I was to you and forget about our time together. Forget about _me_ ”, Izuru sighed. Nagito’s smile widened. He had understood the command without the explanation. It was just so funny how Izuru thought he could just forget about him. Ignore what they had been and ignore what he wanted them to be. It was a sickening thought, but Izuru had never given him a command he couldn’t fulfil.

When Nagito stopped laughing and unclenched his stomach, he received his last kiss. One last thing to remember Izuru by. One more thing to forget about him. As Izuru walked away Nagito couldn’t help but wonder if he had been his special someone.

Their departure didn’t last too long. Only a while later did the Future Foundation find them and throw the class of 77-b on a boat to… somewhere. Nagito could barely contain his excitement of seeing his leader and hope again. Izuru didn’t seem to recognise him though. Ah, how that filled him with despair! Nagito tried to talk, but Izuru had decided to be cold that day. Maybe he really had gotten bored with him. Or… maybe not.

As Nagito glanced around the swaying room he noticed multiple cameras recording their every move. He couldn’t help but giggle.

“Observant as ever, huh Izuru?” he smiled. Izuru didn’t respond, though he tilted his head slightly to the side. Something only someone with a trained eye would notice, his cue for Nagito to come closer. His smile brightened as he moved to sit next to the beacon of hope. They ended up sitting this close until the crew came to get them. They had reached their destination wherever that may be.

Then they were…dragged to a room. There were pods? Yes, there were pods there. The other students _Students???_ Of class 77-b were there too. They got stuffed into the pods, or did they enter willingly? It was all so fuzzy. Fuzzy with lines of code writing over and over and over. Then they weren’t.

A classroom. Students that Nagito didn’t recognize. Was this Hope’s peak? His memories of getting there were fuzzy. A stuffed animal showed up, calling herself Usami and their teacher. Suddenly they weren’t in the classroom, but instead at some beach. An island Usami explained, where they had to collect hope fragments and build friendships. It was around then one of the boys fainted.

As the others started to wander about the island, Nagito decided to stay. It would be pretty cruel of him to just leave the guy there. The boy looked almost boring compared to the others more extravagant style. Short, spikey brown hair, tan skin and slightly above average athletic body. The complete opposite of Nagito.

When the boy woke up and calmed down, Nagito finally got his name; Hajime Hinata.

As the pair went around the island to meet the other students, Nagito couldn’t help but feel much more relaxed than, ever. It was as if Hajime had some calming effect on him. The calming effect would continue to linger in their interactions even after the killing game had officially begun.

Nagito and Hajime’s friendship was something that could’ve become beautiful and fulfilling. Unfortunately, it didn’t go that way. It was far too fresh for the first trial and ended up almost being completely ruined. Everyone treated Nagito with distrust or plain cruelly after the trial. Strangely it hurt the most when it was Hajime being cold to him.

When and if Hajime chose to hang out with him, Nagito was always filled with such joy. He felt almost giddy and like his face would fall off from smiling. Time seemed to go so slow then suddenly end when they were together. Whenever they parted ways after that, he couldn’t help but continue to think about the brunette. It would’ve been annoying if it didn’t make Nagito gush so much just thinking about him. Wait, gush? Ah. He understood now. He had fallen in love with Hajime Hinata.

The realization felt like it changed everything and nothing at the same time. New fears, joys, emotions and hollowness bombarded the lovesick boy. His heart felt like bursting when he saw Hajime now. Nagito couldn’t help but stare at him and all the things that made him Hajime. His smile, how his eyebrows were almost always furrowed, the muscles hidden underneath his clothing. It was despairingly hope filling.

The killing game continued. The others became even more distrusting of Nagito, and his stability went down the drain. Hajime must have noticed, of course he had! Even a reverse course student could see it! Then why was it so painful to have someone as talentless as him fear, pity and hate you?

Something had to be done. Nagito had known so from the start. Hell, he’d already tried to go through with it. But it hadn’t worked. So now he had no choice. No choice but to end it all himself.

Everything was prepared, everything was ready. He had planned the, hopefully, perfect murder. The fire spread throughout the room he heard the others yelling. Soon someone would throw the poison, and if he was lucky it would be Chiaki. Sounds of something shattering. The poison fell over Nagito like a thick blanket. His head was woozy, things turning fuzzy, the poison. With a last breath Nagito slipped further away. His hand let go of the spear, sending it straight for his stomach. As the poison finally killed him, a last thought still lingered over his eyes. A smile, a smile from someone. A smile that always made him so giddy. A smile he’d miss even in death.

Hajime Hinata’s smile.

A dream. A dream? Another one? Again? How tiresome. The memories of it was already slipping away from Nagito. Something about an Alter Ego and world without talents. How strange.

Nagito opened his eyes to see a somewhat familiar face. Short, spikey hair, tan skin and heterochromia eyes.

“Hey! Can you hear me?” he said with a concerned look on his face.

“Ah, Izuru Kamukura?” Nagito realized, a smile already forming on his lips. But, Izuru wasn’t right.

“No, you’re Hajime Hinata, right?” He asked. He gave Hajime his _ ~~the hand wasn’t his~~_ …hand. Hajime took it and pulled Nagito up.

“They’re both me”, the brunette explained. Ah, so that’s how it was. Nagito’s smile brightened. They were both alive.

Everyone was reunited from the program. There was a lot of hurt, tears and anger. But there was still hope, hell even love seemed to spark between the classmates. Every day was a little better than the last.

Months passed and Nagito’s chest was aching worse and worse for each day that went by. Hajime was so close now, not like in the simulation. He had even begun to become almost touchy. A hand on Nagito’s back, holding his shoulders while talking intensely. They even held hands for a few seconds once. Izuru must’ve been in control that time since it was only Nagito who blushed, and Hajime would never have done something so bold.

Eventually it was too much. Nagito couldn’t hold all of his feelings inside anymore.

“I love you,” he had blurted out. A second passed before they realized what Nagito had said.

Nagito instantly flushed and stared at the ground. An audible gulp sounded from Hajime. Neither of them spoke.

“I…I love you, too”, the brunette eventually stuttered.

“Huh?” Nagito looked up with a horrified expression. Hajime was staring at him. His cheeks red and eye glowing just as bright, he was obviously talking to Izuru at the same time.

“I love you, Nagito. Both of us do”, he explained. “And if you love me, then I guess our feelings are mutual.”

Nagito started to smile so he wouldn’t cry. In all the scenarios he had imagined of confession almost none of them involved Hajime loving him in turn. Nagito carefully stepped forwards, sliding his arms around Hajime’s waist. The brunette reciprocated, placing one arm around Nagito’s back and the other in his hair, pushing his head lightly to the crook of his neck. It all fell right. It felt so safe, so warm and so peaceful in Hajime’s arms. It was like a dreamful drug coursed through Nagito’s body, warming him up from the inside.

Hajime moved his hand to cup Nagito’s cheek. Everything about the brunette was so soft in that moment. The look in his eyes, the smile on his face, the light blush still on his cheeks. Nagito had never wanted to kiss the him so badly. Gently he pressed their lips together, making Hajime sigh softly. The kiss was short, but once Nagito had got the taste of it he knew he’d never get enough.

They continued to stand in their embrace, kissing each other softly. Nagito had thought the hug was like a drug but kisses sent him to a new high. Eventually it became almost too much and he had to pull away. His face was contorted into a blinding grin and he couldn’t help letting out small giggles. Hajime also seemed woozy from all the affection, making him almost sway there he stood.

They stayed in each other’s arms, savouring the warmth and touch. They didn’t need to talk, and for once the silence wasn’t awkward on Nagito. He rested his head on Hajime’s shoulder, smiling at how his prophetic dream really had come true. Hajime really had a special level of patience to deal with someone like him.

“What’s so funny?”, Hajime asked after hearing Nagito snicker.

“Nothing, I’m just happy”, he answered. Hajime sighed softly again before moving his hand to stroke Nagito’s hair. He could feel the luckster melt in his grip when he did so.

Maybe things wouldn’t get better for Nagito, but at least now he had Hajime.

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaaa, finally finished this! It's kinda been sitting around cuz I kept getting distracted while writing but I'm pretty happy with it. I hope you enjoyed the story with numerous of my head canons.


End file.
